


Harsh Like Reality

by rotten_goddess



Series: Inside Your Universe [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, I feel like adding the whole story here because I suck at tags, I’m sure I wrote that tag before but it’s missing now so, M/M, Oikawa Went to Shiratorizawa, Piercings, Pining, Porn with Feelings, Post-Timeskip, Sexual Relationship, Thank you for the last 8 years, Unrequited Love, UshiOi but Oikawa was the fanboy, canon divergence I think, happy birthday oikawa, major Oikawa OOC, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:13:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25392175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotten_goddess/pseuds/rotten_goddess
Summary: He wanted it. He brought it upon himself. Oikawa Tooru convinced himself that everything was fine, as long as he could be with his beloved Ushijima. It didn’t matter if he didn’t love him back. Or if he was only using him for his amusement. Or if he was hurting so bad inside and out.But it does.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Inside Your Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839019
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	Harsh Like Reality

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry but I had to. This fic had been haunting me for weeks. I know I’m supposed to be writing the continuation of OKR but this was begging me to be written. 
> 
> Also, have you ever seen a fic where Ushi developed Stockholm syndrome for Yandere Oikawa (and where Oikawa is conflicted between taking good care of his kidnapee and breaking his legs)? 
> 
> I need one. I want to write it but with this and OKR it’s impossible. So I just wish to see one.
> 
> THE FIRST CHAP OF MY BOKUAKA OMEGAVERSE IS NOT EVEN HALFWAY DONE WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE???

It was finished. The door had long closed and the laughing voices far gone, yet Tooru, naked and curled up in a ball, continued to tremble in the middle of the soiled bed. Fresh tears overlapped dried ones, his own sobbing loud in his ears. 

Ushijima finally stood up from his seat, in front of Tooru’s vanity mirror. Of course everything should happen in his own apartment, inside his own room, on the very bed he was sleeping at every night. Ushijima sat at the edge of the bed, holding him in his gaze, eyes dark and pupils dilated. Tooru let his fear get drowned under Ushijima’s proud grin.

 _Do anything_ , huh? He must be too love-struck to not think of the worst when he said it and begged Ushijima to give him a chance. 

“Do you hate me now?” Ushijima asked, and Tooru felt more tears escape his eyes, disappointed at the possibility that what took place wasn’t a mere test but a way to get rid of him. 

“No,” Tooru said softly, eyes wet and vision blurry. More than anyone else, he was convincing himself.

It was fine. If this wasn’t enough then he’d do more. He could take more. He would take more. Ushijima could slit his throat for all his worth and he’d still blindly offer him the honor of cutting up what remained of his heart. All to make Ushijima happy. 

Because he was mad...ly in love.

Ushijima raised a brow, impressed. “You still like me?” 

“I-I love you.” Tooru’s response was weaker than the last, and he internally cursed himself for thinking his answer twice. 

A corner of Ushijima’s lips pulled into a more obvious smirk. He ran a rough hand through Tooru’s messy hair and Tooru shifted his head to offer him a better view of his crying face. 

“Of course you do. Such a good boy you are for me,” Ushijima affirmed, dragging his hand down the back of Tooru’s neck. He traced his spine with the tip of his fingers, causing Tooru’s skin to crawl. His hand stopped moving once it reached Tooru’s ass, fingers playing at the still trembling boy’s abused entrance. 

Tooru chewed on his lower lip, eyes closed as he tried to focus on the finger that started entering him. He was loosened up, but the little friction between Ushijima’s digit and his wall was enough to make his face heat up.

It was good. It was just his finger, but he was finally inside him. Finally connected one way or another.

“More... please...” he asked, voice breathy and needy as needy could get.

A soft— _evil_ —chuckle reached Tooru’s ears and the finger was gone, his hand now pushing his knees apart, forcing him to lay on his back. Ushijima positioned himself in between his legs, which Tooru opened wider. Ushijima played with his hole a bit more, pushing what felt like three fingers in one go, eyes glued over the digits as they were greedily swallowed by hungry rings of muscles. 

Tooru felt like melting from his gaze, his member slowly coming to life. He went limp earlier, his fear taking over the moment he realized what was going to happen to him. He didn’t come once as he felt nothing but disgust. He was sure Ushijima enjoyed the show though, the scary bulge in his pants was proof of it. If he continued to be a good boy, Ushijima might reward him with more than just his fingers. 

“I’m not good with virgins, you see.” The confession cut through the silence, followed by Tooru’s deep gasp as Ushijima’s hands left him altogether. 

Tooru watched Ushijima strip himself, starting with his shirt, lids growing heavier at the sight of his sculptured torso. It wasn’t the first time he saw of his body, not when they had been in the same volleyball team for all their three years in high school, but his built had improved since then. 

“But now that you’re loose enough,” Ushijima continued, taking his massive member out of his pants. “Think you can take me?”

“Yes,” Tooru wasted no time to answer, excited more than anything to quickly overwrite the earlier memories. “Fuck me, please.”

Ushijima didn’t respond, but lined his cock in Tooru’s entrance, teasingly rubbing his head against the other’s hole. When he started pushing himself inside him, he took little to no consideration in letting Tooru adjust at the stretch. 

Tooru gasped another time, head falling back at the intrusion. His bundle of nerves were torn between pain and pleasure and there was no doubt he was feeling both. The sensation was too much to take at once and Tooru wondered just how many virgins Ushijima had left broken, how many holes he had opened and gaped. Ushijima had always been popular, even more so now that he’s a professional. The thought made him jealous that, before he knew it, he was tightening himself around him, sucking him in deeper. He was intent at making him feel so good he wouldn’t even think of doing anyone else. 

“Such a greedy hole you are,” Ushijima commented, hands crawling behind Tooru’s knees, raising his legs and using them as leverage as he plowed his ass hard and fast, like an animal in heat, until Tooru was reduced to a panting mess, screaming his lungs out every time his massive cock brushed against his prostrate. Ushijima was impossibly long, reaching places Tooru didn’t even know existed inside of him.

“Have you always been this beautiful?” Ushijima’s deep voice was laced with desire, sexy and all the more pleasing to Tooru’s ears. Tooru blushed a deeper red, gasping softly when the taller male reached for his face, pushing loose brown locks back behind his right ear. 

“Ushijima-san,” Tooru called, reaching for the other to pull him close. “I love you.”

“You’ll look better with piercings.” The way he responded made Tooru think he wasn’t loud enough that he repeated his last line, to which Ushijima replied, “Let’s get your ears pierced, alright?”

Tooru bit his lower lip and nodded. It wasn’t that Ushijima didn’t hear him, but that he refused to hear. He was immersed with the idea of decorating Tooru’s ears and who knew what else. Tooru could see from his eyes that there were other things running in his mind, other plans for him, to make him “even more beautiful.” Plans like having his nipples pierced.

Tooru didn’t like the idea, didn’t like the piercings even after having them for weeks. But Ushijima wanted him to have them. Ushijima _loved_ them, so much that their once to twice a week affair increased to at least five times. And who was he to decline? He’d catch a taxi at 3 am if Ushijima called him over an hour earlier. 

Ushijima never failed to give his pierced nipples special attention whenever they had sex. There was no end to him speaking about how good Tooru looked with them, how sexy and fuckable he became. He said he’ll have his dick pierced some other time. There was also the idea of tattooing his name in Tooru’s ass, around his hole to be exact, literally marking him as his possession. 

Tooru tried opposing the idea, but submitted eventually. He was always intent at pleasing Ushijima any way he could. Like the dawn (because Ushijima do call him over at 3 am from time to time) he was forced to take Ushijima while there was a dildo vibrating inside him. 

It was too much. Both Ushijima and the dildo was generously lubricated he could feel the excess drip down his balls. But the lube’s help had its limits. He was being ripped open from below, crying at the stretch because begging Ushijima to stop wouldn’t make it stop. 

The sex was for Ushijima’s entertainment. Tooru had no say in it. All he could do was bit his lips closed and swallow his screams. Ushijima didn’t like it when he’s crying too much, said it was annoying and was ruining his mood. Once Tooru had adjusted to the stretch, he’d start chanting more I love you’s. 

The double penetration only happened once, a few weeks before his next V. League season. Ushijima started to get busier after, having little to no time to play with Tooru. 

The next time Ushijima invited him over, Tooru was told to come early and prepare himself. He even gave Tooru the passcode to his unit. Tooru had this silly idea that Ushijima missed him too. 

And maybe he really did... if not, why would he act strange? His kisses were minty fresh but his tongue still had a hint of alcohol. Still, it wasn’t the first time Ushijima fucked him intoxicated. 

He would never forget those drunken eyes watching him fill himself using a beer bottle. Oikawa was still grateful only the neck was forced inside him, not the body. Of course it wasn’t any less traumatic. Nothing considerably bad happened, but Tooru was finding himself shivering at the thought of glass shards in his ass from time to time. Believe it or not, none of Ushijima’s ministrations had ever made him bleed. 

None so far. And Ushijima’s chaste kisses assured him a wonderful time tonight. Tooru didn’t know Ushijima could be sweet and gentle. He even gave him a blowjob, which was a first. Another first was him properly responding to his I love you. 

“Yes, I know now,” he said, as if he had never heard of his confession before, “and I love you, too.”

The words were serious jaw-dropper in Tooru’s standards. He tried to speak but the only thing he could whisper was his name.

“It’s Ushiwaka-chan for you,” Ushijima said, joining their hands. He didn’t know what was up with him asking to be called that after all the years of being addressed as Ushijima-san. 

“You mean it?” he asked, finally finding his voice. Ushijima’s _Yes_ came before Tooru could even pray for it. 

Ushijima pressed their foreheads together. “I love you. I have loved you in silence for so many years you’d think I’m a creep.”

It wasn’t every day that Ushijima would hold his hand and Oikawa thought it was a waste to untwine their fingers, but he still did, all for the sake of locking him in his arms. He couldn’t contain his tears that he started crying on Ushijima’s shoulder.

“You don’t know... you don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say you love me that I’ve lost all hope. I thought it’s enough to have you know how I feel. I thought I should be content you’re spending your spare time with me. To hear you say that now... to hear you tell me you love me. It’s too much. It’s killing me. I’m so happy I could die right now.”

A soft kiss was planted in his temple. “Should I have not said anything?”

Tooru shook his head, pushing a bit to cup Ushijima’s face. “You can tell me that more often from now on.” He smiled, tears streaming down his face. He pressed their lips together. The kiss started slow, soft and gentle. Full of love. 

They had another round of passionate sex where Tooru’s pleasure was Ushijima’s priority. He felt so love he had to ask if everything was a dream. Ushijima... _Ushiwaka-chan_ frowned at it, eventually saying he really wished it wasn’t.

Tooru, for the first time, was allowed to stay the night and he slept peacefully in his lover’s arms. It was the best day of his life. The next morning must have been the worst.

Ushijima woke him up. He asked for five more minutes but he wasn’t given any. Ushijima didn’t stop until he was up and yawning; knuckles tried brushing the sleepiness off his closed eyes. Tooru turned to him, puzzled that his lover looked upset so early in the morning. One huge hand covered Ushijima’s face but the furrow between his brows still noticeable.

“Ushiwaka-chan?” he started, hand in mid-air, undecided if he should or shouldn’t touch the other’s shoulder.

“Don’t call me that, Oikawa,” he responded, dumbfounding Tooru some more. As if he wasn’t the one who asked to be called that last night. “What are you even doing here?”

“You said I can stay the night,” Tooru answered, voice softening with each word. He got so used to being kicked out after sex that he learned not to ask to sleep over. But he did let him sleep over last night. He said he’d like that, too.

“That’s—” Ushijima raised his voice, turning to face him but stopped midway. He sighed, palming his face again before pulling on his hair. Something. Maybe Tooru did something? “I thought it was a dream,” Ushijima’s next words were mere whispers Tooru couldn’t make out. 

Another sigh escaped Ushijima’s mouth and he fully turned his back from Tooru. “Leave. This is so wrong. Why were you even here?”

“Ushi...” The syllables hang from Tooru’s lips, deciding which to call the man but before he could, he cut him off with a more stern _Leave_.

Tooru heaved a deep breath. The happy morning he thought about last night—cuddling upon waking up, having breakfast together, sharing cups of warm coffee and crisp bacon and greasy kisses—completely ruined. It was no place for him to complain. He was supposed to come over when called and leave when told. That was the unspoken rule. Maybe being confessed to didn’t change anything. 

Maybe being confessed to was part of him being toyed.

Tooru finally stood up, picking up his clothes right where he left them last night. He started to get dressed, stealing glances at Ushijima’s broad back, scratches from last night highlighted his tanned skin. 

“Call me,” Tooru said, slipping his jacket on. “I’ll come over anytime so call me.”

Ushijima didn’t respond.

“I love you.”

“Leave.”

Tooru chewed on his lower lip, trying to contain the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He didn’t know what exactly it was that he wanted to hear. But that sure wasn’t it. 

“Just... call me again, okay?” 

No response.

“Please?”

Not a thing. Ushijima didn’t even flinch at the sound of his broken voice. Tooru felt like talking to a statue.

He forced himself to move, dragging his feet out of the room. He looked at him one last time. His back was a strong and sturdy wall standing between them. 

“I’ll wait. So call me, all right? Even a text will do.”

But he never did. Ushijima Wakatoshi never contacted him again since then.


End file.
